Description from original post (created 2013-12-24 00:33):
Because every penguin wears purple
Uncle Luis' Crappy Story Time
When Saint Nicholas left heaven in 900AD, after being kicked out for killing 9 angels in a DUI he needed to redeem himself by bringing joy to children across the world. However he needed a place to set up shop in order to provide materials for his quest. He had to find somewhere where no humans would be able to find him, his choices where the Arctic, Antarctic and Tasmania. He first tried to conquer Tasmania however he was chased off by stoned wallabies. He then decided to attack Antarctica, the homeland of the Great Penguin Empire. He took his slave army of captured munchkins to the icy landscape. They captured the ice shelves of the continent until they faced the forces of Field Commander Pengoro who used his magic (he's half tooth fairy) to commit war crimes against Santa's forces who were forced to set up their slave labour sweatshop in the North Pole
What you expected a proper story?
Without a scarf
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