The Cow That Jumped Over The Moon - - -

Hey diddle diddle
The Cat and the fiddle
The Cow jumped over the moon...
And so it began...

CHAPTER ONE: A LEAP OF FAITH

Cow looked out into the night sky, his eyes reflecting the millions of tiny little stars scattered among the galaxies beyond. "If only I could jump to them" thought
he thought wistfully, "to be able to touch a star. Aye, that'd be great."
For most of his life on the farm, Cow had always felt empty. Always feeling as though he weren't quite at home. And for that, he was perpetually depressed, alwaysmorose. A doleful expression always stuck on his face.
Unbeknownst to the depressed bovine, a series of events were about to take place that would change his life forever.

Mrs. O'Brian screamed a piercing scream, causing her husband, Brian O'Brian, to awake with a start. "Dammit woman,
would be your ailment now?!" bellowed Brian.Mrs. O'Brian, trembling ferverently, pointed a shaky finger towards three objects that appeared to be alive.
Flicking on the light, Mr. O'Brian jumped and swore again as he was met with the most peculiar sight of a fork,
a spoon, and a glimmering saucer leaping around the room. A weird scraping, clacking sound eminated from them,
as if they were speaking in their own bizarre language. Even more strange was the fact that those dishes were
all from the O'Brians' dish cupboard. How they had become animate would forever remain a mystery (altough Mr O'Brian, beingthe rationalist that he was, blustered about it all being a nightmare he and the wife were having together. The
spicy Cajun soup they had eaten before bed having been the supposed cause to the bizarre hallucination).
With a grating scraping noise from the fork, all three dishes hopped in unison and threw themselves out the bedroom
window.

Outside in the barn, the Cat stood on its hind legs and walked toward a hay bale, in which a small fiddle was
stowed away. After a good deal of digging through the messy pile of straw (and some "I could've sworn it was right here" being muttered)the Cat pulled out a dusty old Victorian-era violin. The feline then proceeded to tune the instrument up, and after the tune-up was complete, he began to play. The farm was soon filled with the sound of a symphony composed
by Vivaldi, the Cat's favorite composer. The O'Brians, being the unlucky souls that they were during that night,
had their second try at sleeping abruptly shattered by the violin's high and wavering tone echoing throughout the property.
At that moment, Mr. O'Brian gave up. When they had both gotten into their old rusty Chrysler pickup truck, they drove off into town seekingrefuge from the racket by staying the night at the local Motel.

Cow, who became ispired by the music and chaos, began to dance and jump around. Joy unlike any other he had felt
before coursed through his body as he dance to the ruckus. Higher and higher and higher he jumped until, suddenly,
with an impromptu leap-of-faith, threw himself forth. Cow laughed aloud as he felt himself flythrough the air. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced before, and it gave him a sense of freedom that he had never felt befor. All of a sudden, the sound of the violin was gone, as were the clacking sounds from the fork, plate, and spoon.And then it hit him. The revelation of where he was dawned in his brain. But before he could even stop to process it all, a lack of oxygen hit the Cow like a punch thrown from a world-champion heavyweight boxer, and the poor bovine
slipped into unconcsiousness.

CHAPTER TWO: HE WHO JUMPS OVER THE MOONS

The sound of a strange foreign dialect pulled Cow from his unconcious slumber. He opened his eyes, and was met
with a sight that he would never forget. A purple, tentacle-laden alien cow was sitting at the opposite end of a
oval-shaped room, which was almost completely white. The surface of the room was immaculate, a spotlessly clean wonder
of a room. The only disruption in the whiteness of it all was the Strange Cow at the end of the room, and the polka-
dotted bed that Cow was laying in. Suddenly, the Strange Cow spoke. "Welcome to our realm, thrange traveller" said
the purple thing, a very obvious lisp in its cadence,"you came to uth on legth of wonder, that thomehow gave you the ability to jump high
enough to go over the moon. You even managed to jump into the orbit of our massive inter-thtelar Destroyer."
Cow said nothing. All he could do was stare (rather impolitely) at the alien and shake his head as if he were dreaming."Do not be afraid,thrange traveler, for you will be quite warmly welcome by my kind" said the Strange Cow, nodding his head in an attempt to reassure the poor
cow that had jumped too high. With all the will he could muster, Cow forced his brain to think and his tongue to speak. "Where am I?" asked he.
The alien rubbed his snout, his face contorted into that of one who was deep in thought. "The Crab nebula, if I'm not mithtaken" said the Strange Cow.
The answer hit cow like a tidal wave, and his head reeled, making him feel uncontrollably dizzy. With a mighty heave, Cow rolled out of the bed and onto
the floor. Without warning, he vomitted a hitherto pent-up sick that had been caused by the pressure forced upon him upon entering the inky black void of
space. After he had finished vomitting, Cow looked up at the purple alien (who appeared to be quite fascinated by the emptying of Cow's stomach), and said "how long
have I been asleep?"
"Twelve dayth" said Strange Cow, "your mind was quite damaged by the sudden loth of oxygen. We had to give you some heavy thedativeth if you were to stay alive
during the operation we had to preform on you."
"One more question".grumbled Cow, wiping his mouth a little bit to make himself look more dignified.
"Strange Cow sat straight, and folded his many tentacles solemnly, ready to answer.
"Where are you taking me?"
The Strange Cow blinked thrice, for it also had three eyes, and spoke.
"Home."
Cow's face changed to that of confusion, and he was about to inquire what "home" was before he was interrupted by a very sudden and very loud rumbling.
"Ah, we are here" said Strange Cow, his face splitting into a wide grin of joy.
"Where's 'here'? And what's "home?!"" said Cow, starting to panic a little bit.
The alien ignored him and pressed a button. Suddenly, a massive doorway appeared in the side of the white room and opened, the loud whispering sound of a crowd of many
filling the room.
"THIS is home. After you" said Strange Cow, beckoning to the apprehensive bovine.
Cow walked forth reluctanty. Drawing a deep breath (and whatever courage he had buried inside of him), he stepped out trough the doorway.
For one moment, that one moment, he was blinded by a white light, but what he saw afterward was something he would never forget.
A crowd of millions of purple alien space cows erupted into cheer, hooting and chirping and yelling and whooping. "How am I this important?" thought Cow,
bewildered by the sight that was confronting him. Suddenly, from behind him, the amplified voice of Strange Cow tore through the sound of the crowd.
"Brother and sisters! Uncles and aunts! friends and corporate business owners! We are gathered here today to celebrate the return of the chosen one! He Who
Jumps Over Moons!"
The crowd went wild, their energy far surpassing that of the original uproar that had been made when Cow had exited the spaceship.
Cow marvelled at the sight, and somehow, he felt something he could not explain. A feeling of familiarity greeted him, and for once, he felt at home.
He had reached the stars.

THE END.