Post-Lethal Apocalypse Resistant Protective Suit

Description from original post (created 2012-05-09 17:04):

The latest invention from DuctToast Post-Earth Innovations: The Post-Lethal-Apocalypse Resistant Protective Suit (PLARPS.)

Ever spent a nice day just derping around the house when suddenly, out of nowhere, a pesky deadly apocalypse happens? Man those are annoying, especially when stuff insists on killing you. Never fear, for with PLARPS, you can find your way around any planet-ending conditions. This multipurpose suit will help you defend/protect/disguise/relieve yourself in worst-case scenario situations.

How does it work?

The patented Rubber+Teflon+Anthrax material will protect against most every possible world-ending entity.

*Zombie apocalypse? The suit is tear proof, so your neck and brains are absolutely safe from attack.
*Nuclear Fallout? The breathing mask is able to filter chemical-filled air into pure oxygen (Or carbon dioxide, to accommodate our plant life consumer base)
*The second coming of the Messiah? As long as you've never eaten fish on Friday, married a goat, or camped in an FPS, you should be perfectly fine!
*Creeper takeover? The suit doubles as a creeper disguise, so you can fit right in as a slavemaster, rather than a slave. Enjoy whipping the bare backs of your former, non-PLARPS purchasing friends.
*Skim Milk flood? Unfortunately, PLARPS technology still isn't protective against skim milk. Burns right through. (We're totally fixing that. I promise)

The PLARPS is available from DuctToast Post-Earth Innovations for only Ñ 20,000.

*Authentic-looking post-disaster stains
*Easy-Flyo Zipper for ease of removal.
*Also available in Pink.