I know it's funny to other people, but you just suck. I love you so much, and you did what you felt was necessary, you took your own life. And every time I think of what kind of friend ship we had, it really was one of a kind. We could actually kiss each other -if we wanted to- and it wouldn't even matter.
Whenever I'd cry you swore to God that you'd kill me if I didn't smile, and you almost beat me to death one of those times. But that just made me love you a million times more.
When it was my birthday you to me to your house and we talked about dudes, and I felt like I might just marry you one day, but, that would be awkward.
Of course you had a terrible home situation, your dad beat you and walked out of your mother and your younger brother when you were 6, your brother was just 2. Every time I think about it I cry. You were so damn young, and you didn't deserve that. But somehow you learned how to fend for yourself, and the way we met was funny; you pulled a knife on me.
I laughed and so did you we were the best of pals ever since, I refused to really tell anyone about you because I didn't want to screw up what I had with you and throw that all away. Little did I know you slit your wrists.
I found out about a month after you started, Matthew ripped your sleeve up and you ran out of the room, Mr. Donze wanted to kill you so badly. You vowed never to cut again, but then you started wearing tights, and I knew you were cutting away at your legs, but I never said anything, and that really is my biggest regret.
You never cried in front of me, you only made an extremely awkward face and breathed super stupidly. You made Jebus up, and I use that word everyday now, and I remember how you used to hate your hair, and I always wished I had it. But sadly, again I never told you that, and you hacked it all off. Matthew call you a dude and I almost murdered him for you.
The fact that you slapped Brian for me makes me cry at how perfect you are. You aren't scared of anything, even death, and I cry at what you did.
You never said I love you to me, and I was glad you didn't, or we'd have both cried. No one can ever make me hate you, nothing you did made me angry, nothing you ever said offended me, nothing you could have done could have hurt me more than what you did on the fourteenth.
In your note to me, there was one thing I will never forget "I love you, bro, Brian can suck a fuckin dick." And in those simple (yet hillarious) words, there is so much more there. No one can even understand how much I miss you.
I miss how you'd always tell me "Don't stress," or even "Dude, can you shut the hell up, I'm trying really hard not to listen to the teach right now," and my favorite, "Dear lord Jesus, have mercy on Faith's soul, she knows not how fucking stupid she is."
In my heart, I hope you are watching over me, because it makes me feel all the better, but I know I am just feeling guilty for what I didn't do, I'm sorry Aura.
I wish I would have told you this before, but I love you, rest in peace, doll face.