I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..

What was Forrest Gump's email password? "1forrest1"

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.